Encouragement and Accountability

It has been six weeks since I left home. I have been doing really well, not being homesick at all and being able to communicate with my friends and family a lot. But lately I have felt a bit like I am lacking in the area of accountability. I was talking to my mom about this in email. I am so thankful for her-she is so full of wisdom and always has the right thing to say. Here’s what she had to say: “We are spiritually warm, safe, comfortable, well fed and well loved. Then there does come that time when we need to break out, dry our wings. Then try those wings. Where we are to completely embrace who we have become in Christ on our own…in other words, “show us what you’re made of” kinda stuff. It’s not easy. And you might make some wrong turns-or not make any turns because you just need to stay straight.” This totally makes sense to me-I feel like this is a true test of my faith. No one is here to tell me what they think, and no one is here to influence my decision. I can’t worry about what other people think about me, like I so often do. I have to figure out how to exercise my own faith-how to make it my own faith. I have been praying a lot about this and spending time in the Word, although probably not enough time. But I still crave the accountability I have back in the States and I haven’t known what to do about that.

Before I left, a bunch of you all wrote in a journal for me. It’s pink and has a big, sparkly flower on it. :-) My parents gave it to me at the airport and I read it on the plane and sobbed the entire time, completely blessed that I have such a great group of people praying for me. After that, though, I didn’t dare look at it because I didn’t want it to make me homesick. It is propped up on my desk and when I see it I remember you all, but I haven’t read it since then. Last night, I decided that I’m probably safe with not being homesick since it’s been so long. I had some spare time, so I went through the little photo album I brought, just looking at pictures of my family and friends. Then I opened the journal and read each of the entries people wrote. I didn’t cry until I got to my parents’ entries at the end (they’re all mushy and absolutely wonderful). But I was all of a sudden struck again with the fact that I DO have accountability here. It may not be face-to-face, but I have it. You are my accountability. The words you wrote encouraged me all over again and gave me fuel. Remembering that I have people back home who are praying for me and share in the joy I have in Jesus, is such a wonderful thought. So thank you to those of you who wrote in that journal. And thank you to everyone else who reads this who is praying for me and keeping me accountable. I know I haven’t learned everything God has for me on this trip-I still have 6 weeks left to learn a ton more! But I feel like this small thing-the encouragement of other believers written months ago-is so relevant to where I am now and is part of something God is teaching me. Thank you a million times over for your prayers-I can’t wait to see what He does in the next six weeks!