Me falta sola una semana

Exactly 7 days from now, at this very time, I will be arriving at XNA. I can't even believe it. Time has gone so fast! I feel like it was yesterday when I was saying, "exactly 7 days from now I will be in Costa Rica." What an amazing journey I've had!! This ending is so bittersweet. I am SO excited to come home and see people, hug my wonderful family, and do things I miss like driving a car or going to Wal-Mart (you may not think you would miss it, but believe me, being without one for three months has made me very grateful for those Low Prices). :-) At the same time, I don't want this to end...these experiences, discoveries, this life. I know this isn't real life-no one lives like this-but at the same time, it's beyond real life. This culture is real life for those who are here. And I LOVE it. I know I cannot hang onto every moment of this trip, but what I can hang onto are the relationships I've built, the lessons I've learned, and the language I have spoken for the past three months. It is time to move on, time to come home. So, even though my emotions are a whirlwind in my head and heart, I can honestly say that I am ready to come home.

This past weekend was my last weekend trip to take. We decided to go big, so we went to Bocas del Toro, an island off the Caribbean coast in Panama. We were so excited to go to this sunny, Caribbean island and soak up the sun all weekend...until we got there. It was overcast all weekend and poured buckets on Saturday for half the day. We were disappointed but tried to make the most of it. Friday while taking a walk we stumbled across a Smithsonian Reasearch Institute, and we happened to find it during the window when they give tours. It was really cool-they study frogs, birds, and sea animals and we got to see all of that.

Saturday, since it was raining, we decided to go on a boat tour that took us to four different places around the island. I thought by "boat tour" they meant some sort of speed boat or something. After being here for three months, I should have known better! It was a tiny lancha that bounced around on the rough waves. I was pretty sure it was just going to crack in half at any point! It didn't help that the driver was drinking a beer and lighting a cigarette when we could smell gasoline. I began fearing for my life at one point, but we lived through it and I'll know better next time!

The tour was pretty cool-we went to Dolphin Bay and got to watch wild dolphins ride the waves of our boat! That was fun-they were cute and were definitely putting on a show for us. We tried to get pictures, but never could catch them when they were in the air. We also went to a beach and it was very pretty, although it would have been prettier with sun. The water is so clear there, though, and the beach was among the best I've been to since I've been here. So, even though it didn't turn out the way we expected, we had a good time!

Panama's culutre is different from Costa Rica's, but they both have American influence. It is strange to see the different areas of influence-Costa Rica's is more day-to-day cultural things, whereas Panama has more rules and regulations like the US does (except for on tiny tour boats, apparently). Panama's food also has more US influence, and they use American money for their currency. That was so strange to see American money!! I never realized how tiny quarters are, but they really are small in comparison to Costa Rican coins. It was also weird to go to the ATM and type in a withdrawal of $100. We laughed at ourselves because here, the equivalent of $100 is 50,000 colones. So the first time I took money out of the ATM, I had to mentally get over the fact that the number was so big. Now, when I went to take out $100 in Panama, I had to think about it because the number looked so small on the screen! I was afraid it would spit out 100 colones, which is the equivalent of 20 cents. We also got to eat American food in Panama-chili dogs, pizza, donuts, etc. It was nice not to have fried platanos and arroz y frijoles for the whole weekend, even though I love those things, too! Overall it was a fun trip and even though it rained, I'm glad we went! Here's a few pictures...

The veiw of the island from the water taxi...the beaches are on the other side. :-)

A starfish at the Smithsonian...you can't tell but his hand is underwater.

The group I went with, minus one of the guys. This is at the Smithsonian.

The spot our tour stopped for people to snorkel, which I did not take part in. I prefer looking at fish from behind glass!

Standing on the border of Panama and Costa Rica, which was smack in the middle of an old railroad bridge

El Caribe es bellisimo

Well, this weekend I headed to the Caribbean for the first time since I've been here!! My friend Kendra and I took a trip Friday afternoon to Puerto Viejo. It's about four hours from San Jose, so we got there late Friday night, found a place to stay, and crashed. Saturday morning we went to the beach, but it was so hot and humid that we ended up only being there for a few hours. That afternoon we walked around to some of the fun, unique stores and we napped. So relaxing!! That night, we randomly ran into some friends we had made in Manuel Antonio a few weeks earlier, so we hung out with them.
This morning we went white water rafting...SO much fun! I am definitely going to rate that among my favorite trips so far. We went on the Pacuare river with Class III and IV rapids. We had a great time!
Last weekend I stayed in San Jose for the first time since I've been here. It was really nice and relaxing...I got to sleep in, which was awesome! I haven't slept past 7:00 since I've been here. I also got to just rest, which was good because I had been pretty sick, and it definitely helped me recover.

I cannot even believe that I only have two weeks left...it's crazy! It flies by so fast. I only have one weekend left to travel!! Which I am taking full advantage of by going to Bocas del Torro, an island off the Caribbean cost in Panama. I won't get to see the Panama canal, but at least I will get to go to the country!!
I am getting excited about coming home and seeing people!! Up until a few weeks ago, I was really sad about leaving, but I can feel the excitement creeping in. I will definitely leave a part of my heart here, but I will be glad to come home!! I have learned a ton and my prayer now is that God will show me how to take what I've learned back to the States and use it...apply it to my life to glorify Him. I really pray that my transition back home is smooth...they say that reverse culture shock can hit hard sometimes especially when you've had such a good time and love the country so much.

School has been really busy lately...I have a presentation in my Spanish class each week that requires online research and a Powerpoint. I am also working on a 10-page final for my Communication class, which also requires online research and Word to type it out. Since my computer broke, I have really limited computer access (usually only 2-3 hours a day). It makes it hard to prioritize which project is more important, and I end up having a ton of work and no time to do it all!! Hopefully after this Wednesday that will calm down a little bit, but it's been kind of frustrating the past two weeks because this is my last month and I want to have a good time, but I spend all of my free time working like crazy in front of a computer.

Well, that's all for now...here are some pictures of the Caribbean!!

OK, I don't know why they came out small, but I've been trying to fix these for a while and it's not working. So...they're just going to have to be small. :-(

A view of the part with rocks up on the beach.

Kendra and me on the beach right before the sun set...it was gorgeous!!

This is one of my favorite pictures...it looks so perfect and tranquil!!

That's awkward...

Here's something really strange about Spanish. It has no word for the English word "awkward." This is frustrating, because I find myself creating many awkward situations either because I don't know a word, or I say something wrong, or by the sheer fact that I am a Gringa. Anyways, I have had the need to use the word "awkward" in Spanish on several occasions, but it doesn't exist. Instead, they tell us to say, "que extraño," which means, "how strange." Not the same connotation or denotation, if you ask me!
The other word they don't have, which is also strange and creates awkwardness, is the word, "cute." So when someone shows you a picture of their baby and you want to say it's cute, you can't. So then it's awkward, because I have nothing to say. The only thing that comes remotely close to "cute" is to gasp, clasp your hands together, and say, "AYYYYY, que Liiiiiiindo!" in a gushy, overexaggerated voice. But that gets annoying after the first time, and its literal translation is, "how beautiful," which is still just not the same. So now, when people show me something that is cute, I just smile and nod and it's...awkward!!

Nicaragua

This weekend a friend and I took a trip to Nicaragua...we had so much fun!! Nicaragua is very different from Costa Rica. It is a whole lot poorer, so it looks WAY more like a Third World Country (that's not a hard feat...Costa Rica is not very Third World at all). Anyways, we stayed in Granada, which is one of the more touristy towns. There were tons of vendors on the streets and everything was way cheaper, which was nice!! I somehow managed not to buy anything, though-mainly because I don't need most of it. El Centro, or downtown, had a big park in it, which was pretty, and, of course, a Catholic church that was uniquely beautiful, as they all are down here. One sad thing was the kids-they come up and ask for money relentlessly. It's hard to not give them some, but you can't give money to every single child or you would go broke. The dogs are also very sad...I will not go into detail about them.

Saturday we went to a lagoon that is in the crater of a volcano. It was beautiful!! The hostel that we were staying at has a sister hostel on the lagoon, and we were able to go for the day and hang out there. The water is perfectly clear and so calm, and rather cool, which was refreshing. We kayaked out to the middle of the lagoon and stayed there for a while, then came back in and I took a nap while Juliane went and took a ton of pictures (she's a photographer). It was so wonderfully relaxing to not have to go anywhere or do anything, just sleep or look out at the beauty of the lagoon!!
Sunday we got up early and took a chicken bus (public bus) into Rivas, which is about an hour and a half away. That was an experience!! The chicken buses there are old school buses that are painted with bright colors. Everyone comes and gets on with their gunny sacks, big baskets full of food, bicycles, 5-gallon buckets...I wouldn't have been surprised if someone got on with an animal!! Anyways, it's crazy because there's no set stops, people just sit on the side of the road and flag the bus down. So you never know how many stops will be made. And the payment system is ridiculous-every once in a while someone just comes down the aisles and collects money from the people that have gotten on since the last collection. I have no idea how they keep track of this-it makes much more sense to pay at the door, like they do it here (in Costa Rica). Anyways, once in Rivas, we took a ferry across Lake Nicaragua to Isla Ometepe, an island with two volcanoes on it. The two islands used to not be connected, but lava from the eruptions fused them together. It is beautiful over there, too!! We stayed in a nice hostel and basically did the same things we did Saturday-kayak, sleep, and read. It was just so nice!!
Monday we had to get up and start the looooong journey home...excruciating chicken bus ride to to the ferry (2 hours long), ferry to Rivas, barter with a taxi driver to get us to our bus stop. There are 3 bus lines that go to other countries, and we were using TicaBus. Basically you buy a round-trip ticket but your seat on the way back is open, and you have to reserve it when you get to your destination. We had reserved seats for 1:30, but the woman told us it would be coming at 2. So around 2, we went to sit in the sun and wait for the bus. 45 minutes later, we saw a bus coming and stood up, but it flew right by us! I was so sure we had just been left in Nicaragua and wouldn't make it home for another day, but it turned out it was the wrong bus and ours came shortly after. Thank goodness...I was very ready to leave!!
Border crossing was horrible...probably 2 hours long. They have a double border-you exit Nicaragua and get your exit stamp, get back on the bus, and go to the Costa Rica station. Get back off the bus, get your entrance stamp, then go back to the bus, get your luggage, and wait and wait and wait for them to come by and decide whether they want to check it or not. They usually don't. So FINALLY, you get back on the bus and leave. Mind you, this is in sweltering, humid weather. Anyways, after the Costa Rica border, it is 5 hours to San Jose. Once we were back in the city, I was strangely relieved and excited to be in the "safety of home." I never thought I would think that, but it really did feel like I was coming home!!

Overall, the trip was a lot of fun. It was nice to travel with only one other person, and she is very laid back. We never felt like we had to have plans or spend a lot of money on some tour, it was more just a time to experience a different culture and the beauty of another country, and to just relax. I am glad I had that opportunity!! I would post pictures, but since my computer is broken I can't download them off my camera. :-(
That's all for now-thanks for your prayers-I know God was definitely involved in keeping me safe this weekend!! Until next time, adios!!

My epiphany

So, I was talking with my dad on the phone on Monday, talking about what an awesome time I am having here. I told him I love it so much and don't want to leave, yet I still long for home. I long to hug my family for an indefinite amount of time, I long to drive a car, to go an entire day without eating rice and beans, to have long talks in English with old friends, to go outside at night and not be afraid of being mugged, to be able to say something smart or funny without thinking about it for 5 minutes and then messing it up when I finally say it. At the same time, I love it so much here-part of me even loves all those things I just mentioned (except for being afraid of getting mugged). I have loved learning to and adapting to this culture, and truthfully, I'm kind of scared to go back to the States. I know I have changed and my view of the world has changed, while everyone back home is expecting the same old me. Not that I'm a completely different person, but there is no one back home who will ever be able to fully understand the experience I've had. I love it here and want to stay!!
After I got off the phone with my dad, I was journaling my thoughts about this. I wrote this sentence: "I know that, although I love it here, this is not my home and I long for my 'real' home. I need to accept the amount of time God has given me here, be thankful for it, then go where He leads me." Then it hit me: this is such a great picture of life on Earth! This is not our home, and although we love it, we know we will be going to our true home someday. We need to accept the amount of time God has given us here, then when He calls us Home, joyfully run into His arms to embrace Him forever.
It is also a picture of being in the world but not of it. I came here with my entire life's experience in the American culture. I had to learn a lot about the way they do things here, and I had to adapt a lot. Some things, I have been able to adapt to, while others are still very strange for me. As I have learned everything, I have filtered it through the knowledge that I have of life in the States. I have adapted to some things, like the Greeting Kiss, rice and beans, and the relaxed time schedule, while still keeping the same mindset I had in the States. I don't have to become a Tica-I will actually never be a true Tica (which makes me kind of sad)-but I can still live here in harmony with the people here. Just like, as a believer, I am in this culture but should always be mindful of the place I am from-and adapt to the things I can while remembering my values and beliefs.
I'm sure all of this sounds so basic and elementary, but when it clicked in my head I was so excited. I knew all of this before, but the comparison to what I am experiencing now was just what I needed!! I love it when God uses things like this to teach me-or reteach me-new things!! He is so good, isn't He??

New experiences

Well, another week has absolutely flown by!! I am getting ready for the end of the month, as my Spanish class will be over and I will start a new one next month. I have had several projects and presentations due, so I've mainly stayed busy with that. This weekend I went to Manuel Antonio again, which was OK. We took a sailboat tour on Saturday, and almost all of us got really seasick. So it wasn't as enjoyable as I would have hoped, but the part where I wasn't sick was fun!! :-) We stayed in a hostel, which we have done before, but this weekend we didn't have our own room. We were in a dormitory with 13 beds. It was a unique experience...I'm pretty sure there was never a time at night when everyone was alseep or even in the room. Someone was always coming or going. But everyone was very friendly and the atmosphere was so relaxed. We were kind of worried about our stuff getting stolen, but they had a safe to put it in, and I think everyone there was pretty nice and didn't have an interest in stealing other people's stuff.

I still feel like God is working on me in ways I don't know yet, but I am just trying to really listen to Him. This weekend I was reminded of who I am-a Daughter of the Most High God (this phrase is copyright of the wonderful Windy Hall and has stuck with me since the 9th grade) -and no matter where I go, this is my identity. It was very freeing to remember this, although I'm not sure why...I don't feel like I was struggling with identity in my faith. However, just to realize that although my faith is being tested, I am still His and have been made clean and pure was so reassuring. I think something happens to me when I see the ocean...I am reminded of how absolutely amazing and big God is. Anyways, it was so wonderful, it made me want to run around with my hands flung out! I didn't do that, though, don't worry.

This weekend is a long weekend so I am going to Nicaragua! I'm really excited about it-it will be fun to go to a different country and see what it has to offer. I've heard Nicaragua is beautiful! Please pray for safety and for an easy stop at the borders. Nicaragua is poorer than Costa Rica and is not as touristy, so this will be good in some ways but could create a disadvantage in others. Thanks so much-until next time!

Encouragement and Accountability

It has been six weeks since I left home. I have been doing really well, not being homesick at all and being able to communicate with my friends and family a lot. But lately I have felt a bit like I am lacking in the area of accountability. I was talking to my mom about this in email. I am so thankful for her-she is so full of wisdom and always has the right thing to say. Here’s what she had to say: “We are spiritually warm, safe, comfortable, well fed and well loved. Then there does come that time when we need to break out, dry our wings. Then try those wings. Where we are to completely embrace who we have become in Christ on our own…in other words, “show us what you’re made of” kinda stuff. It’s not easy. And you might make some wrong turns-or not make any turns because you just need to stay straight.” This totally makes sense to me-I feel like this is a true test of my faith. No one is here to tell me what they think, and no one is here to influence my decision. I can’t worry about what other people think about me, like I so often do. I have to figure out how to exercise my own faith-how to make it my own faith. I have been praying a lot about this and spending time in the Word, although probably not enough time. But I still crave the accountability I have back in the States and I haven’t known what to do about that.

Before I left, a bunch of you all wrote in a journal for me. It’s pink and has a big, sparkly flower on it. :-) My parents gave it to me at the airport and I read it on the plane and sobbed the entire time, completely blessed that I have such a great group of people praying for me. After that, though, I didn’t dare look at it because I didn’t want it to make me homesick. It is propped up on my desk and when I see it I remember you all, but I haven’t read it since then. Last night, I decided that I’m probably safe with not being homesick since it’s been so long. I had some spare time, so I went through the little photo album I brought, just looking at pictures of my family and friends. Then I opened the journal and read each of the entries people wrote. I didn’t cry until I got to my parents’ entries at the end (they’re all mushy and absolutely wonderful). But I was all of a sudden struck again with the fact that I DO have accountability here. It may not be face-to-face, but I have it. You are my accountability. The words you wrote encouraged me all over again and gave me fuel. Remembering that I have people back home who are praying for me and share in the joy I have in Jesus, is such a wonderful thought. So thank you to those of you who wrote in that journal. And thank you to everyone else who reads this who is praying for me and keeping me accountable. I know I haven’t learned everything God has for me on this trip-I still have 6 weeks left to learn a ton more! But I feel like this small thing-the encouragement of other believers written months ago-is so relevant to where I am now and is part of something God is teaching me. Thank you a million times over for your prayers-I can’t wait to see what He does in the next six weeks!